


Gay for Cate

by imgayjesus



Category: Cate Blanchett - Fandom
Genre: Cute, F/F, Fluff, Lesbian, Love, Older Woman, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2019-08-23 05:53:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16613165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imgayjesus/pseuds/imgayjesus
Summary: Cate Blanchett x Female ReaderCan you handle the GAY?





	1. His Mom

 

It’s been more than a year since you moved to the UK and you had certain issues with settling in, but after a couple of months you were able to find some friends and you even had a short romance. A group of girls sometimes make fun of you, because you’re one to those girls that prefer to hang out with boys – what it  completely normal for you and you don’t see their point. The cool things about the boys you hang out is less drama, neither you  really enjoy the typical  girl talks – it’s noting for you.

 

-Saturday 9am-

 

You wake up to a phone call from one of your friends – Jacob.

 

“Hey (Y/M), what’s up?”

“Well, you just woke me up and you know that I tend to get grumpy when somebody wakes me up.” You reply and roll your eyes. “Anyways.. why are you calling me?”

“Girl, I can totally tell you just rolled your eyes..”

He was about to finish, but you interrupted him. “GET to the point.”

“Riiight, we are going to Dashiell’s house today! Wanna come?”

 

You froze for a second, but then agreed on meeting them later. The reason you froze is because Dashiell’s mom is Cate Blanchett, THE Cate Blanchett what is still surreal to you. Dashiell was one of your closest friends, a bit younger but age does not matter, does it? You’ve met Cate a couple of times and you always tried to keep it cool.

 

You spent a couple of minutes buried in your wardrobe looking for a specific bottom up black dress – casual but cute. After you finally found it you freshened up and ran to catch the bus. You met up with the boys and started walking to Dashiell’s house.

 

“You look cute (Y/N).” Jacob smiled.

“It’s quite weird to hear something nice and honest from you mate.” You started to laugh, but thanked with a smile.

 

After a quick chitchat you finally arrived. Your heart started racing. You noticed Dashiell standing in the doorway with a huge smile.

 

“Guys, guess what! My parents are not at home.”

All the boys seemed to get excited after hearing the news – teenagers sometimes just don’t enjoy their parents I guess. However, you were not really pleased by it. For some reason you wanted to see her today. It’s weird.. you thought, but for some reason you enjoyed Cate’s presence. It wasn’t because of her fame or anything like that, you just liked her a lost as a person. There was something about her that made you blush everytime you were thinking about her. Surely you were blushing all the time then. You thought it is strange, she was your friend’s mom after all. Double of your age. Married.. but you could not stop dreaming about her icy cold eyes that hypnotised you with every look.

 

You quickly returned to the presence after Jacob asked you what you wanted to do. You all agreed on playing some games on PlayStation. After an hour so you heard someone walking in the house.

 

“Hello dears, just wanted to make sure you were having a great time.” She looked at all of you, but her gaze stayed on you and she smiled.

“Mom, we are okay you can go now.”

“Oh I see.” She smirked with her eyes still on you. Your heart was racing, it was a strange feeling.

“Well then, I’ll be around the house if you needed me.” Before she closed the door you saw her wink on you. Did Cate just wink at you?


	2. Her eyes.

You sat there still confused. You looked around and you could see the boys having fun, playing video games and laughing. One of them would try to include you in the conversation, but you couldn’t pay much attention. Your mind was somewhere else, perhaps in another dimension. You couldn’t stop thinking about the blonde woman. ‘(Y/N), she is married, older and is the mother of your friend!!’, you thought to yourself. It was a strange feeling. But what was love, and what was it to love someone? And what if you were maybe a bit older and she wasn’t married? …Maybe one day, you’ve walked into the same coffee shop that she was sitting inside, and you’ve noticed her light blonde hair that resembled the sun so bright and beautiful, her eyes glistened ever so slightly as to resemble the entire ocean.. You shook your head. ‘This is not right..’, you thought. She is your friend’s mother after all..

“Hey, (Y/N). Could you please help her?” Dashiell was looking at you with raised eyebrows.  
“W-what?” You looked at him confused and he laughed.  
“My mom messaged me that she needs some help in the kitchen or whatever, could you go?”  
“Uhm.. yeah I guess?” Your heart was beating fast and your hands got all sweaty. You took a big breath, closed your eyes and walked out the room looking for the kitchen and her.

You slowly walked into the hallway. The house was huge and you felt really small, like a mouse trying to find its way out of the lion’s cave. You walked into a huge room what seemed to be the living room. You stood there admiring the vintage furniture and all the paintings on the walls. The white walls and furniture in combination with the huge windows letting in light made you feel like you were in heaven. You looked on your left and saw her standing in the kitchen humming a song to herself. It seemed like she hasn’t noticed you, yet. You stood there, ever so shyly with a small smile on your lips admiring the older woman. Her messy blonde hair pulled back into a small ponytail, focused on a cookbook you guessed. You looked at her from the corner of your eye about 10 times or so. She was so beautiful, breathtaking even. ‘What an angelic sight’, you thought. You saw her lifting her head up so you quickly turned your sight to the nearest painting. 

“Do you like art, (Y/N)” You heard a familiar voice. Her voice made your knees tremble. You loved the way it lilted and wrapped around your name. You missed it at times. ‘It’s strange how your soul can ache for something so simple.’, you thought to yourself again.  
“Yes indeed, Mrs. Blanchett.” You turned around with a shy smile.

“Oh.” She laughed and that made your heart beat even faster. “Call me Cate. Please.” She smiled. “It makes me feel like I’m old. Anyways, come closer, dear. It would be quite hard to help me when you are standing that far away, wouldn’t it?” She said with a smile again pointing on a stool next to her.  
You couldn’t stop looking at her eyes, like you were under her power. You walked towards her and sat down on a stool further away from her. She got up and walked to the fridge. 

“Are you thirsty?” 

“Uhmm.. can I get some water, please?” you answered. She smiled and poured you a glass of water. 

“Are you scared of me?”, Cate looked at you with a smile on her lips. She came closer to you and was standing in front of you, leaning on a counter. 

“N-no, I’m not.” You sat there, staring down the counter and finally lifted your head to meet her eyes. Studying her every feature that you could, like an artist would study a masterpiece. Her eyes, two drops of ice cold water, were like a bottomless ocean that you would give up air to explore.  
“Don’t worry, I don’t bite.” She reached out and brushed your hair behind your ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you want me to update + your thoughts xx


	3. She is art

She looked into your eyes. You wanted to look away. But you didn’t. Her eyes were like the night sky in the desert. It felt like there was a whole world living inside her. You didn’t know anything about that world but wished to know more. Her right hand rested on your cheek and you slowly closed your eyes. The soft skin of her hand still pressed against your cheek, oh what a holy touch. Thank the lord you were sitting, because your knees weakened. You looked back at her and she slowly removed her hand and quickly turned around and started doing something. After a good five minutes, you dared to speak.

“So Cate, with what exactly do you need help?” You looked around, trying to figure out it by yourself.   
“Oh, nothing really. Just wanted somebody to keep me company.” She smiled as she turned around. Her icy blue eyes scanning my whole body. You could feel your cheeks getting warm. Did she want company? You looked around confused. 

“So, what do you like to do, (Y/N)?” She asked, while mixing something in a grey bowl, not looking away, not looking at you.  
“I... Well, I love art in general. Paintings, music, poetry,... They are all filled with thoughts and sharp words, they explain our feelings. They put into words what we can’t say out loud. I have a hard time explaining my feelings, or understanding them myself.” 

She turned her head to look at your face. “Look at her, she can speak. Hm... You are an interesting being, (Y/N).”, she smiled and continued with whatever she was doing.   
It was hard for you to focus to focus on anything else but her. Every inch of you was burning for her, and you would burn for all eternity to feel her touch once more. 

“Is that what you would do in life, to do art?”, she asked.

“I would love to.. but.. I don’t think that I’m good enough. My parents wouldn’t want me to something like that anyways. They don’t think that it is a real job, you know.” 

“Hm, what a shame. I think you should consider it.”, you could see her smile. “Why don’t you show me some of your work?” She turned around to face you, with a smile. 

“Well, I don’t have anything here, also... I don’t know when will I be here again.”

“You are always welcome here, darling. You can come over anytime you want. What are you doing this Saturday?” 

Your heart started racing. There she is across the room, those eyes, that face, you can’t help but stare.  
“I thought that Dashiell is away.” You look at the older woman with a confused look.

“Would you mind if it was only the two of us?” She looked you deep in the eyes.   
‘Oh.. Have I mentioned her eyes?’ you thought to yourself. Her blue eyes that reminded you of a cloudy day at the beach. Looking into her eyes was the same as gazing out over the vast forever.. Where the grey sky and the blue of the ocean mix perfectly.  
“No, Mrs Blanchett.”  
“Cate.” She corrected you.  
“I mean.. Cate.” You said her name. It lingered on the tongue, insidious and slow, almost like poison, which was apt indeed.   
“Perfect, I will pick you up around 3 pm if that is okay?”, you could only nod.  
She was about to say something when your phone started to ring. ‘Thank GOD!’, you thought. You were sure you could not spend more time alone with her, you’ve either got a heart attack or you’ve stopped breathing. It was your mom and she needed you at home. You quickly explained it to Cate. 

“How sad, but I’ll see you on Saturday.” She smiled and placed her hand on your shoulder. You smiled and nodded. “See you, on Saturday.”, you replied. 

__

You were already in your bed and you couldn’t fall asleep. As you closed your eyes an image of her arrived in your mind. You can’t even close your eyes without picturing her. ‘Am I a fool for maybe, just maybe loving her?’, you thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think xx


	4. Snow angel

A single day hasn’t passed since that day, where you didn’t think about her. You suddenly remember that feeling you used to get as a kid when you were so excited, you couldn’t focus on anything else. Well, that was you again. Thinking about her.

You probably think too much about everything. The what ifs and the should haves. You shook your head and got up from your bed. You changed into a black dress with a pretty lace collar and a cardigan over it. You quickly grabbed your notebook and a pen and ran outside.

It was the best kind of November day. Cold and crispy. You walked out of the house and saw the first snowflakes. You walked through the falling snow down the old cobblestone path. It was cold. It was bitter. And you wished nothing more than for her to be there, but you knew she never would be. Why would she be there, anyway? She has a family, and you must be a child in her eyes. You exhaled and decided to go for a walk.

Your breath froze mid-air, you were walking somewhere, but nowhere in particular. The only thing you heard was yourself walking on the snow. You heard the absence of the birds. A stillness so complete. You sat down on the nearest bench and started writing:

 

//

“Your eyes reminded me of the endless ocean. Overwhelming, deep, and swimming with life. They became my favourite colour and I would gladly paint every single wall in my house to match them. So vast and yet so happily open. Even though you were unbearably nice, I still stayed with you and let myself plunge into the rich, glassy waters in those eyes. Your soul is the riptide. I was pulled under. I could not breathe. I drowned.”

//

 

You looked up at the sky. It was already getting darker. You put on your headphones and listened to a song called ‘better alone’, by Lykki Li. You smoked and listened to the same song over and over again until you could no longer feel a thing, only your cheeks burning from the cold. On the other page of your notebook, you started to sketch her. Her face. Her eyes. Her smile. You lit another cigarette when you heard a crispy, but familiar voice.

 

“You never stop surprising me.“

 

You turned around and saw the older woman you were thinking about.

 

“I didn’t know you smoked.” She came closer.

 

“Well..” You smiled. “I do.”

 

“I can tell.” She started to laugh. “What are doing here all by yourself? It can get quite dangerous.” She raised her eyebrow. You could tell that she meant it in that ‘motherly’ way.

 

“I’m the kind of person who likes to be by herself. To put a finer point on it, I’m the type of person who doesn’t find it painful to be alone. I’ve had this tendency ever since I was young, when, given a choice, I much preferred reading books on my own or concentrating on listening to music over being with someone else. I could always think of things to do by myself.” You replied with a smile. “What about you?”

 

“You are a fascinating being, (Y/N).”

 

“People say that often.”

 

She looked at you like she wanted to say something, but then she closed her eyes and smile. “Well, I like to spend some time by myself as well. As a mother, wife and an actress, I hardly get some time to myself and I quite enjoy walks and this weather.” She looked up and smiled.

 

There was silence between you and her. It felt like both of you wanted to say something, but weren’t brave enough, or simply didn’t know how to say that. The blonde woman finally spoke.

 

“Well, I’ll see you on Saturday, I hope you are still coming.” She smiled and slowly started walking away.

 

“I’ll be there.”

 

“Good.. also. I like that drawing.” She winked at you and got lost in the snowflakes.

 

‘What drawing?’, you thought and then remembered that you forgot to close your notebook. You could feel your cheeks burning, but it was not because of the cold weather.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? I hope you liked it... :)
> 
> xx


	5. A shy smile.

You already missed her. She’s been gone for a second and you, once again, craved her. What a peculiar feeling. You craved the electricity that shoots throughout your whole body when you could feel her touch. You craved that beautiful and adorable smile on her face. She’s only been gone a second or two you were craving her. Oh, how addicting she is.   
The cold wind dried out your face and made you wonder why you keep losing your chapstick. The wind danced through your hair as snowflakes attacked your pale skin. You decided that it was time to head back home. You were shivering and rubbed your exposed forearms together while crossing your arms. It was time to get warm.

And it was one of those days where time was passing you slowly, the sun didn’t radiate warmth and the walls seemed to have your eyes. It was one of those days where your tiredness didn’t come from a lack of sleep and your ache didn’t come from a paper cut. It was one of those days where everyone was doing something, everyone was moving on with their life and you were just there. You were just a faceless person in a loud world where people talk nonsense except no one noticed you, not even yourself. It was one of those days when being buried in a ground seemed more realistic than finding happiness. It was one of those days where getting out of bed seemed to be my civil war except with your own head. But days like that passed by, on their own time.   
You would sit at the same place as you were that time you two met. What if you met again? But you didn’t. With each passing day, Saturday was closer. You were already nervous, how strange, isn’t it? Why were you nervous? God knows because you had no idea. You looked through your sketches, wonder what the older woman was doing.

  
_You ran into Cate when you wanted to knock on her door. Without hesitating, she kissed you. Her lips against your felt incredible. Your heart pounded in your chest, as the intensity if your lips and bodies pressed against each other grew. The next thing you knew, she was on top of you this time. Your hands slid up her back as the bare skin of your palms ran along the bare skin of her back. Our lips were wet, and she tasted so good. You kissed her harder, as your fingertips dug into her back, and you pulled her into your body._   
_You breathed heavily, and you didn’t want to stop kissing her. You knew she was resisting making any sounds by the way she breathed, but so were you._   
_Finally, you sat up and pulled away. You were on her lap, your legs wrapped around her as she kissed your neck. Your nerves were going insane. Electricity shot throughout your body as she left pecks at your neck. Your arms that were wrapped around her suddenly hugged her closer, as well as your legs. She kissed a sensitive spot on your neck, as you couldn’t help but let out a small gasp and then s-..._

You woke up all sweaty. “What the?... Oh fuck.“, You quickly realised that you were in your bed. By yourself. It was only a dream. You ran your fingers through your hair. „Well, that is just fucking awesome...“.

'You checked your phone and you saw a message pro man unknown number. It said:

' _Hello darling, I am sorry to say, that I will not be able to pick you up. Hope it is okay. See you at 3 pm. – Cate_ ’

  
You replied and threw your phone on your bed and had a sip of water. “What is going on with me?”

You had breakfast and then took a shower. The day ran past and it was almost 2 pm. You decided to wear your favourite checked high waisted trousers and a simple black long-sleeved crop top and looked at yourself in the mirror, and gave yourself a big smile. ‘You deserve it just as much as anyone else does.’, you thought to yourself. You were trying to work on yourself, even though you sometimes had a hard time loving your flaws. You put on your doc martens, grabbed your bag, your coat and were ready to go.   
You walked through the falling snow listening to the same old song. What were you going to say? You will surely tremble and lose your voice. You exhaled the smoke of your cigarette and walked to the direction of her house.

You finally arrived at her house and your stomach was already feeling funny. You walked closer and saw her through the window. Her golden hair falling in her eyes, probably making some tea. And then, your eyes met. She stopped mid-laugh, and you flashed a small, shy smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this isn't as good as I wanted it to be... I hope you still liked it. 
> 
> BTW! Thank you for your messages xxx


	6. Lips

“Come in darling, it’s freezing outside!“ The older woman said with a laugh.

You slowly walked in, all nervous, all shaky. You both walked into the living room and sat down. She offered you a cup of herbal tea, which you happily accepted. While she was in the kitchen you kept thinking about the topics you could discuss. You wanted to ask many questions. What her favourite colour was. How she liked her tea or coffee, or which one she preferred. But when you were around her you couldn’t even make a sound, like you had no voice. You looked around you, curiously searching for anything that would catch your eye. You could see paintings, oils paintings as you guessed of landscapes. ‘She must like art as well..’, you thought to yourself. You could see her everywhere, not necessary photos of her or such, but in the style of the house. Very elegant and sophisticated, just like her. Then you noticed a photo from their wedding. It was bittersweet. Sweet, because she looked happy and beautiful, but bitter because you wished you were next to her. Even the thought of it made you angry, the thought that somebody dared to like her or even love her. ‘What am I even thinking...’, you looked on your hands. She was married after all, probably happily, too. You only hoped that he treated her right, oh how could somebody not treat her like a queen after all? You were woken up from you daydreaming by the older woman walking in the living room with a smile.

“Tea is ready!” 

You only smiled in reply and thanked. You took a sip of your liquid, that seemed gold dyed. It tasted bitter and sweet at the same time, just like life. She looked at you like she was waiting for you to say something.

“Hmm, it has a pleasant aroma and taste, as well. It tastes of lavender, as far as I can tell and a bit of honey.” You looked up from your cup and could see her smiling from across you, shaking her head.

“Is there something you don’t know, (Y/N)?”

Of course, there were things you had no idea about, things that confused you. Too many probably. 

“Could I see your art, please?” She smiled.

“Yeah of course..” you replied while she was making her way to you. She sat down and smiled at you as you handed her some pieces of paper and a notebook.  
You couldn’t take your eyes off her as she was going through them. Looking at her was like looking at a piece of art. No, not the way you imagine. She wasn’t a masterpiece - far from it, she was way more. She was not made of perfect swirling, perfect as most of us would think. The longer you watched her and studied her face, the more you started noticing the cracks in the paint, the black smears spread over distinct forms, the ripped edges that belonged to her as the stars belong to the moon. The battles she’d fought had left their marks but they did not make her less beautiful - no. They made her real. Looking at her was like looking at a piece of art. But it wasn’t calming, not in the slightest. Because you were terrified that one day you’d be nothing but a girl she walked past in the street, a girl she wouldn’t even glance at, another girl who’d only stop and stare to look at her.  
She stopped at one of your drawings and looked up.

“Who is she?”

You smiled while looking away. “A girl a used to like… well, like a lot. Two or three years ago maybe.”

“What happened to her?” She looked at you curiously. 

“She left...” you looked down and took a big breath before lifting your head. “The thing is that people always leave. Some of them don’t say goodbye - they just leave, and you don’t know why, and you can’t ask. Or you do ask, they just don’t give you a good enough answer. And of course, they have every right to leave, but you can’t help wishing they hadn’t. I used to… search for her in crowds, in empty fields and soaring clouds. In city lights and passing cars, on winding roads and wishing stars. I only wished for her. The only thing I have is the memories and this drawing.”, you looked her in the eyes and smiled.  
There was silence in the room. Not the awkward or uncomfortable one. You were looking at each other and were talking without words. Her eyes said more than words ever could. 

“I.. I’m sorry I.” She shook her head.

“Hey, it’s okay. You really don’t have to worry. I’m fine.” You replied while placing your hand on hers.

She looked up with her lips parted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it xx
> 
> Thank you for all the lovely comments!! I really appreciate them


	7. Special.

You both stopped speaking and her eyes flickered up to yours. The blue and silver swirl around, burning up in the blackness of her pupil. Wide with emotion, all the shades of ever-deepening colour, twisting and turning as she gave you that look worth a thousand words. 

“How do you do that?” She whispered, tilting her head slightly to one side.   
“Do what?” you murmured.  
“How do your eyes always say so much more than your mouth?” You looked away at that and it was a long moment before you looked back.  
“Funny, because I was just thinking the same, about yours. I guess they’re just honest. What can be a blessing and a curse at the same time” You smiled.

And you were sure, that she got confused by your answer. You thought she looked even more beautiful with her brows raised, trying to figure you out. It made you smile. If fear didn’t exist, you’d run up your hands over her body and kiss her. Not in a sexual way, with the need to touch somebody, this was not the case. You wanted to hold her close, look deep into her eyes and softly whisper her name. You wanted to kiss her, slowly, taking your time. You wanted to touch her without even touching her. 

“A curse? Why is that?” She looked at you with raised eyebrows.   
“People can read them easily. I have a hard time hiding my emotions.” You smiled and brushed through your hair.  
“Why would you want to hide them?” Her question caught you off guard.  
“Well… If I should be completely honest, I just don’t like to talk about them, nor others to know about them. I feel safer that way.”  
“I think when you keep any emotion hidden inside for too long it begins to slowly hurt you.”  
“That’s why I have art.” You smiled.   
She looked down to your drawings and written word and then looked back with a smile.  
“Why would you let me see your emotions then? I mean, you said that you use art to express them.”  
“I don’t know.” You smiled. “But there are still certain things I will keep to myself.”  
“Of course, it wouldn’t be you without just a hint of mystery.” She laughed while going through some pages of your notebook. She made you feel calm. She made you feel things you haven’t felt in a while. It was scary but amazing at the same time. You loved her smile, presence and laugh. Words couldn’t even explain what you felt when you were around her.   
“I really like this one.” She pointed to a text you wrote, it said:

“Your eyes reminded me of the endless ocean. Overwhelming, deep, and swimming with life. They became my favourite colour and I would gladly paint every single wall in my house to match them. So vast and yet so happily open. Even though you were unbearably nice, I still stayed with you and let myself plunge into the rich, glassy waters in those eyes. Your soul is the riptide. I was pulled under. I could not breathe. I drowned.”

“How lucky will be the person who will be with you.” She smiled at you. 

Oh, only if she knew that you wrote that one about her. You wanted to say something, but then you stopped. “Yeah… maybe.” You took a deep breath and swallowed the lump in your throat.   
“Anyways I think that you are very talented, there is something in you. You just have it.” She leaned closer and whispered. “It’s a blessing.” 

Her breath made you shiver. Hearing her voice was far better than her touching you. Because even though you yearned for her skin to touch yours, it was her voice that touched your soul. You beamed at the woman's words, they coughed you off guard. You wondered if you were hallucinating.   
You could feel her eyes on you. Like they were trying to figure out what was going tough your head.   
“What is it, (Y/N)?” Her voice woke you up from your daydreaming.  
“I… it’s so hard to try and explain the heaviness sitting on my chest and the knotting in my stomach that never seems to go away and I’m at loss for words. My mind has a million different things that want to be explained but I can’t put them into the words people need to hear so I usually sit by myself choking and wallowing in my self-pity wondering why I’m not like the rest, who can smile at the sun and feel alive or breathe in without the feeling of someone standing on their lungs. It’s weird and I don’t want to bother you-“  
The older woman stopped you with placing her hand on yours.   
“You never bother me, if you feel like you need to talk to somebody, I’m here.” She smiled, but it was different kind of smile you couldn’t quite figure out. “I myself used to feel like that sometimes, lost in my own thought. I thought that I was odd.” She said slightly tilting her head and placing her other hand on your chin, to make eye contact, her face inches away from yours. “You are special.” And while looking in her eyes, you lost the ability to think properly.


	8. A storm.

“You and odd? I think that you are perfect.” Did you just really say it out loud? Your eyes widened after you realised that you REALLY said it out loud, not sure what to do next you just closed your eyes cursing in your head. After you opened them again you saw her smiling. Her eyes were glowing like million stars on the sky. You’ve always loved the night sky and thought that there was nothing more beautiful than the stars, but you were wrong. You met her. No matter how sad or angry you could be, her eyes and smile would bring you comfort and love. You couldn’t focus on anything else but her lips. The thought of her lips touching yours made you crazy. Her hand still resting on your cheek felt like silk. She ran her fingers across the back of your hand with her free one and it felt like being struck by lightning. There was a storm overhead that hadn’t started yet, but the grey skies were not nearly as intimidating as her eyes on your lips. You were distracted of a light coming from outside. It was raining hard out. There were the constant flash flood warnings, but you didn’t think it’d be too bad if there actually was one. A good old thunderstorm every few days was good for us all. For some, it was actually a relaxing experience, but you were usually all tense. You could hear the raindrops falling, see the sky flash pink for an instant, then another. You were always scared of thunderstorms. To be more exact, you had a great respect for them. She sat back with a smile and you already missed her touch. 

“I didn’t know that somebody like you would be scared of something like a thunderstorm.”   
“I’m not scared of them!” You tried to defend yourself, not to look weak or childish in front of the older woman.   
“It’s okay to be scared, we are all scared of something.” She smiled and tilted her head. Her eyes scanning your whole existence. You always wondered what crossed her mind when her eyes met yours.   
“What about you, are you scared of storms?” You looked at her curiously, trying to read her expression.   
“I actually enjoy them. It feels like everything true is coming out during a storm. You see, everything is so chaotic and then? Everything is calm.” She smiled and looked at the direction of yet another lighting. “I think life works like that as well, don’t you think?”   
You couldn’t help yourself but stare at her. She was probably the most intelligent being you’ve ever met. She was the whole ocean, and you were a single drop, at least that is how you felt in her presence.   
“So, what are you scared of then?” You dared to speak up.

Before she could answer a loud thunder made you jump towards her direction. You were not really thinking about what you just did. You looked up and her face was maybe an inch away. She smiled softly and brushed your hair behind your ear, a blush appeared colouring your cheeks. Looking in her eyes you forgot to breathe. You heard another loud thunder but your eyes didn’t leave hers. Everything just stopped. In that tiny second, you fell for her. You hadn’t noticed how close you were or how you were leaning into her shoulder with your legs on top of hers. Until she looked at you, her eyes shining and right then you were aware of everything. You noticed that the tips of her fingers tingled on your arm. You noticed her warm breath against your skin that made you shiver. You were not quite sure what was going on, but you knew that you wanted to stay this forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think? Hope you liked it! xx


	9. Lust in Her Eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay guys! I still hope you enjoyed it xx
> 
> Let me know whether you'd like me to update!

The smell of herbs, candles, her sweet perfume, rain and flowers with a fragrance of wine, and the crimson fruit, soft and overripe. A woman looking right into your eyes, with a flash of a smile, gold ear-rings showing from blonde hair brushed away from her face, long arms, your faces inches away. A night like a great dark blanket, raindrops falling, the air warm with tired flowers, the wind getting stronger. She is mesmerizing and you, while looking into her yes you forgot how to breathe. Did she put a spell on you? Because even if you tried to move, you could not. Your eyes were glued to hers, wondering what was on her mind. There was so much you wished you could do, however you realised what the consequences would be. ‘She is married.’ you thought to yourself, but the reality slipping away. Somehow the reality that you were holding you was far unrealistic to you now. She had you enchanted. The feeling of guilt was slowly leaving your body and the crave to the taste of her lips bigger. Your gaze moved to her lips. Oh god, her lips. Her lips were eager and waiting, parted in laughter. It felt like you haven’t moved your body in years, however, it has only been a couple of seconds.   
The sound of yet another thunder brought you back to reality, to the reality where nothing between the two of you could happen. To the bitter reality where you would be just another person falling for her eyes and lips, yet at the same time, the reality was sweet because you had her in your life. You sat back and nervously brushed through your hair as she was closely analysing every move you made. She slowly moved closer to you and slowly brushed your right cheek with her thump. Your eyes met yet again, however, her eyes looked different. You shivered as you saw love with a few drops of lust in her eyes. And then she said, “Kiss me.”. You paused for a few moments and took a few deep breaths. You were so scared, yet her eyes brought you comfort. Was this real or yet another dream? ‘This is not funny anymore.’ You thought to yourself. She rose to her knees and brushed through your hair. This was real indeed. You needed a minute to think about what she had said and what she really meant. The sentence was straightforward, yet for a reason unknown to you, it sounded too good to be true. There were so many different ways you have imagined kissing her, so many different moments you have dreamt of kissing her, but during those few moments, so many different thoughts were running through your head. To kiss her softly? To hold her neck or the side of her face? She reached for your left hand, kissed your fingertips, and buried her love in the cracks that people left behind in your heart. You reached for her face. She was electricity running through your soul, and you could easily lose your mind. Who knows, maybe you did. And with your lips just inches apart you kissed her.


	10. Wildflowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Thanks for the nice comments, they really motivate me to keep writing haha. I really hope you enjoyed yet another chapter! Please, do let me know what you think xx

With just one taste of her lips, she took you under her spell. You could have sworn that that was how heaven tasted like. There was just something moon soaked and dawn flavoured about her. It fascinated you how somebody like her, a famous actress could be at the same time so mysterious. You could never read her. Intoxicated by her perfume, your lips rested on hers, it felt like the world was spinning. You stopped the kiss, aching for air. With a slight fear of this only being a dream you dared to open your eyes. You saw her. The woman you adored and would collect all the stars for. Wasn’t this pathetic of you to even dare to think about those things?   
You started to notice every little detail about her face, all those thin wrinkles across her forehead, around her eyes and around the corners of her mouth. Her eyes were closed, her lips slightly parted. This was one of those moments that you will cherish forever. All the feelings going through your body, you could explode. Kissing her for the first time was euphoric. It felt like laying on a field covered with wildflowers, the sun shining on you, softly tickling your nose. Various birds singing their joyful songs, the soft warm wind playing with your hair, wild rose petals dancing with the wind. It felt like home.  
Both of your hands on her face, your fingertips kissing every inch of her silky skin. That caused her to let out a breathy almost moan and open her eyes. You sensed a different atmosphere in the air, what triggered your mind to already go to dark places. You were sure that the older woman regrets even laying eyes on somebody like you. Her icy, oceanlike eyes caused you to shiver, you felt naked yet you were fully dressed. “Are you cold?” she asked with a concerned voice. You could only nod as an answer. If you were supposed to be completely honest, you were not cold at all – the opposite even. The sudden change of her behaviour confused you and convinced you that she indeed regretted kissing you. Just from the corner of your eyes, you saw her reaching for a very soft looking beige blanket and with fast movement, the blanket was covering you from all the things you were scared of. “There, we don’t want you to get cold, do we?” You noticed a flash in her eyes. You lowered your eyebrows, that woman was confusing you. Then you noticed the twitch on each corner of her lips, and her smile was back. “Would you like to watch something, (Y/N)?” she asked you with her head slightly tilted. “Y-yeah… you can choose what we are going to watch.” You said with a slightly shaky voice what caused her to softly laugh. “Good, but next time it will be your turn to choose a film.” she said with a smile, looking deep in your eyes, seeing right through you. You were ever so confused.   
You could not recall the title of the movie nor what was the basic plot, your mind was too busy on its own. Every now and then you could sense her eyes resting on you, as she was waiting for you to look at her. But you did not, in fact, you did not know what to do, so you let your eyes to rest on the tv screen.  
“You know that you don’t have to sit there by yourself.” Her voice made you turn your attention to the older woman. She was holding her blanket up for you, pointing on a spot under it. Your body froze for a moment, however, you quickly shook it off and slowly moved next to her. She moved to her left, so you both could be comfortable, covered you with the blanket and put her arm around you. Another lightning bolt travelled from a cloud to the ground which caused yet another loud thunder. You quickly closed your eyes when you felt her hand caressing your hand, what motioned you to slowly rest your head against her chest, you could hear the soft music her heart was making. “I am here, there is no need for you to be scared.” You looked up and she placed a soft kiss on your forehead, then on your nose,...


	11. A Little Bit in Love

She placed another kiss on your cheek, then another on the left corner of your mouth and looked you in the eyes. You were mesmerized by her. You wished that this moment would never end. What a magical moment this was, so different from everything you had known. A soft smile appeared on her full lips, your faces inches away, in each other’s arms – well, more like you in her arms. You thought to yourself, that this might be the only time to do such a thing that you wished to do. You collected all the strength in your body, took a deep breath and reached out for her face. Your fingers travelled on her face, focusing on her lips. You then slowly leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips. Her lips against yours felt incredible, magical, but most of all breath-taking. Your heart pounded in your chest faster than the massive wooden clock in the living room, as the intensity if your lips and bodies pressed against each other’s grew. Her free hand slowly travelled down your spine, while the other caressed your cheek. She was gentle, careful as if she was scared to break you. The next thing you knew, she was on top of you this time as she slowly flipped you over. Your hands slid up her back as the bare skin of your palms ran along the bare skin of her back. You breathed heavily, and you didn’t want to stop kissing her. Her breath was like honey spiced with cloves, her mouth delicious as a ripened mango. As you pressed kisses on her skin you recalled the sweet scent of lotus. She brushed her fingers over your wet lips and then placed a kiss onto them. You knew she was resisting making any sounds by the way she breathed, but so were you. Finally, you sat up and pulled away. You didn’t know how, but you were on her lap, your legs wrapped around her as she placed small kisses on your neck. Your nerves were going insane. Electricity shot throughout your body as she left pecks at your neck. Your arms that were wrapped around her suddenly hugged her closer, as well as your legs. She kissed a sensitive spot on your neck, as you couldn’t help but let out a small gasp, hoping she didn’t hear it. But of course, she heard your gasp because as soon she pulled away a devilish grin occurred on her face. You couldn’t help but stare at her, you bit your lips. A thousand or even more thought was running through your mind, and that was when her smile turned a concerned expression. 

“Are you okay?” she asked, wondering whether she overstepped or hurt you in a way.   
“N-no, I’m fine.” You said as your face turned a soft shade of pink and was avoiding eye contact.

She leaned in and rubbed her thumb over your lower lip. Her other arm was wrapped around your lower back to support you. 

“You are breath-taking…” she whispered, her eyes scanning every inch of your face. “So young, yet so wise. You’re like from another world.” She looked you in the eyes as she finished. 

A smile appeared on her lips as she was caressing your cheek. You melted in her touch, trying to memorise every moment, every touch and every word. The moment was gone, as she got up from the sofa and walked to a record player. Your eyes were following every move she made. After a second, you could hear an old ballad softly playing in the background and her sweet voice singing along. She turned around with a smile and then a thought occurred in her mind, at least that was you guessed from her expression. She had this adorable face she made every time an idea occurred in her head. She had this specific expression and you could not help but wonder, what was going through her mind. 

“Let me get something!” she said we an excited voice as she disappeared in the hallway. You were sitting on the sofa, trying to absorb everything that just happened. You slowly touched your lips and smiled with the thought that not long ago they were pressed against hers. You were brought back from your daydreaming when she walked in the living room and sat down next to you. 

“I have something for you.” She softly smiled as she pulled out an opalite pendant on a silver necklace. “I love gemstones and crystal. The other day when I was going through me jewellery I saw this one and I immediately thought of you. I’ve had it for a couple of years when I was battling with my confidence and I thought that this would come in handy. It will boost your self-esteem and improve your sense of self-worth-.. well.. if you believe in such things.” She smiled.

“I don’t know what to say, but I can’t accep-“ 

“No such thing. It will make me happy.” She said with her head slightly tilted to her right. “Can I?” she asked indicating for you to hold your hair.

She then placed the necklace on your neck and smiled.

“Thank you.” You placed your hand on hers and bit your lips. 

“Your hands are so cold, come here.” She said as she put a blanket around you. “Is this better?” you slowly nodded. Of course, everything was better your body rested next to hers. You could not help but study every movement on her face as she relaxed to the sound of the ballad playing in the background. She then noticed you looking at her and you sheepishly looked away, immediately turning a darker shade of pink.

“You’re a mystery.” She softly said as she caressed your face and you dared to look back at her. “However, your eyes say speak for you.”   
You were not sure what she meant by that, and it immediately made you nervous.   
“And I think, that you might be a little bit in love with me...” She said with a smile. “And I might be a little bit in love with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, I hope you like this chapter! I am not very happy with it, but I am never happy with my work haha.   
> Let me know in the comments what you think!
> 
> With love,
> 
> A x

**Author's Note:**

> // Excuse me for any misspelling. I tend to write around 2 a.m. haha xx//
> 
> Let me know whether you want more 
> 
> xx


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